Incest victims need to tell
 Incest is an awful secret that many victims keep for years, afraid to tell, believing that the abuse is somehow their fault.
It's not.
When a relative -- father, aunt, brother, uncle, sister -- has any type of sexual contact with a child or teen, that's incest -- and it's against the law. That includes touching that makes you feel uncomfortable, anything from fondling your breasts, vagina, or penis to brushing up against you in weird ways.
Incest is also a terrible betrayal of a child's love and trust. The same type of betrayal happens when a stepparent, baby-sitter, coach, teacher, clergy member, or other trusted adult violates a child sexually.
Most children and teenagers are abused by people they love and trust.
That's why it is so difficult for a child to tell someone about the abuse. Abusers often make their victims promise not to tell, sometimes threatening to hurt someone in the family if they reveal the secret.
But the only way to stop incest -- and to prevent an abuser from hurting someone else -- is to tell.
It's difficult. Often, if the incest is between a father and daughter, the mother will want to deny that the man she loves could hurt their child. But, eventually, most mothers stand behind their children.
Telling about incest will, no doubt, upset a family. It might also mean that state agencies get involved in the family.
But staying silent about incest is far worse, say Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, authors of The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse.
Incest survivors need help to deal with the abuse, which can leave deep emotional scars. Most people need therapy to heal those wounds. Many also find that support groups help. And others work through their pain by talking to close friends or family members.
If you are a victim of incest of other similar crimes, remember it is not your fault. You need help. Talk to a family member, school counselor, someone at your church, a friend's parent, or anyone you trust. The first step is to break the silence.
A good place to turn to is the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network,
(800) 656-HOPE,
www.rainn.org. They will connect you with a local organization that can help.
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Teen
Outreach Rape & Incest Section